35 weeks and some change

Finally a normal doctor's appointment!! Dr. K declared me no longer exciting, told me that I totally only went into labor for attention and my obvious love of helicopters. And typing that, I'm sure that makes him sound like a total dick, but sarcasm is my love language. And I've proclaimed my love for Dr. K enough already :)

So, besides making fun of me 90% of the appointment, we officially scheduled my c-section for 8/22 (my birthday and maybe Finney's!), but the best news is that I am off Procardia as of SUNDAY!! *****happy dance***** I have been having lots of contractions this week (seriously, tell a pregnant lady that she can't nest. PUH-LEASE) and I think that chances are pretty good for a baby next week. But now that I've put that out on the interwebs, I'm sure the contractions are going to magically stop and I go in for my c-section on the 22nd :)

And because I've already swayed from my normal set up, I'll just put the rest here. I'm feeling pretty massive, pretty tired and pretty done. I'm very ready to hold my boy! I struggle more to play with Eddie on the floor, waddle like a monster and am generally feeling like every pregnant woman does at 36 weeks. My love of rice krispie treats has been out of control, and can easily down a box in a matter of days. I also just became obsessed with bagels with strawberry cream cheese. Obviously, I'm no longer worried about weight. Momma wants FOOD!

Eddie has been fantastic lately with baby stuff. Like, rockstar big brother in the making....we'll see if it lasts :) We got some diapers this week, and right away Eddie wanted me to put one on his stuffed animals. Now that little Henry mouse is "Baby Henry". Eddie changes his diaper "oh! dis one poopy!" and holds him like a pro. After the carseat was all washed and put back together, Eddie had a ball clipping baby Henry Mouse into the carseat. He talks to Finn all the time and has lately been asking him if he's ready to come out. He also is obsessed with telling people that he's having a baby brother (good thing we're not keeping it a secret anymore!) and isn't showing any signs of worry or jealousy, so that's good. We have the carseat base in the car to get him used to not being in the middle anymore, the pack and play bassinet set up, and tons of other baby stuff around the house. Eddie seems generally interested in all of it, and hasn't gotten possessive of anything....good signs!

And because it's the closest thing I have to a bump picture....I now present you with something that may or may not burn your retinas. Ladies and gentlemen.......pregnant lady dancing.....

{of course shauna had to document the one time i got up on the dancefloor}

{and Jen, how hot am I now? LOL - the other pictures of me are much more flattering!}

{and ps - check out frankie checking me out! he knows I've got the best moves out there :)}

Oh yeah. Finney and I can break it down. So what do you think, blog readers? Will Finnegan arrive next week or will he snuggle in until our c-section date? Place your bets!



Catch up!

Phew...sorry for the long silence around here! Usually I write a few posts over the weekend and have them set to post during the week while I'm at my parent's house, but this weekend we were a little busy with our good friends Jim and Michelle's wedding!!

That's right...I went on a field trip! I would never, ever miss such an awesome occasion, not to mention that Frankie was in the wedding and I was did a reading at the ceremony. So, with lots of water and my handy dandy Procardia, off we went to Iowa. And don't worry....from us Iowa is only about an hour and a half away, so basically I just pretended that we were going to the city :)

{the only church picture i have....imagine everyone dressed up and you get the idea!}

{Zach, Keith, Jim, Frankie, Kent and John all handsome}

{wooo! check out that bump. I had a really, really adorable dress to wear, but was planning on wearing it with heals. After I saw my walk to where I was reading, I was much too scared to do it in heals, so Erin and I went off to TJMaxx and found this dress about 2 hours before the wedding!}

{Jim is running! Grab him!}

{ok, this picture is so obviously staged its not even funny. It is a re-creation of my favorite picture of my dad and my uncle from my parent's wedding....and while that one is always my favorite, this one comes in a pretty close second....check out frankie's intensity!}

{the boys made me take this picture, honest to God. And do you want to know how bad it feels to go into a men's bathroom with 4 guys and a camera and come out giggling like little kids? Sigh. Those boys. Good think they know I'm always game}

{Married!}

{we have the most amazing group of friends ever!}

{also, notice my stool? yup...sat there all night like a good little modified bed rester}

{awww}

{one of my favorite pictures of the night!}

Obviously I have about a zillion more pictures, but these were just some of my favorites. Frankie and I really enjoyed the Quad Cities and are thinking about taking Eddie and Finn back out there in the fall....they have a ton of John Deere related stuff up there, and I know Eddie would love it. Add in boats and such, and I'm sure the boy would be in heaven.

So....congrats Jim and Michelle!! They're currently in Ireland and I hope they are having tons of fun!

Good deed day

Alright readers, I need your help again! My friend Trevor works with the chicago children's advocacy center which is currently in a contest to win a new car from Toyota. So if you have a Facebook account and a minute to spare, please click thru and vote for ccac.

http://apps.facebook.com/carsforgood/

Thanks!!

Three little fishies

A couple weeks ago we had some of our favorites out to Nanna's pool for a little playdate. Eddie was soo excited to have visitors, and I loved being able to chat with Michelle!

{three silly little fishies}

{sweet as sugar little Shelby....this girl will ham it up for the camera all day! love her}

{crazy Eddie monster}

{my favortie little Leah! This one has no fear and is soo funny....stone steps up to where Shelby and Eddie were playing? No fear, no worries! Crazy girl}

Eddie keeps asking for them to come back....too bad this week has been beyond hot...I think everyone has stayed hunkered down in the AC!

Fancy Pants

This weekend Eddie and Frankie went to a family wedding, one that I sooo wanted to be at but do to some bad planning on my part (I told the bride that I wouldn't be able to make it because of my bed rest, but then my doctor ok'd me to go, but then I didn't want to be that person 2 days before the wedding that was all I'M COMING NOW!! and eff up her entire seating chart. Because seating charts are the devil.) So instead I sat at home by myself, wrote that incredibly self-pitying post about Fiona (because I was lonely) and then you know what happened? Literally 5 minutes after Frankie and Eddie left, the cable and the internet went out. And I cried some more. I had no books at the house that I hadn't read, no TV, no internet and my pity party went to epic proportions. Sigh. Anyway....


Eddie and Frankie had a blast. Well, at least they both came home exahusted....Eddie from running around and Frankie from chasing him. Heh! I knew Eddie would go nutty on the dancefloor and the cell phone videos Frankie took for me are some of the funniest I've seen.

The best part of it all, though? Eddie's amazing outfit. He was soooo proud of his fancy outfit - and he even picked out the hat! Such a ham.

Oh my gosh. I die.

Fiona

I'm crying like a mess writing this, so I have zero idea if it is making any sense, but I guess it was time for this to come out.


One thing I haven't really mentioned is that my cat, Fiona, is gone. The night of my original hospitalization Fiona went outside - something she has been doing regularly since the spring. And, there isn't really a great way to put this without throwing someone under the bus, but no one called her back inside. (I drove myself to the hospital while Frank gave Eddie dinner, his parents and my parents came later that night) She always, always came when called. But no one called her. No one told her that we were leaving. I went into the hospital Saturday night, the last sighting of her was Sunday afternoon. Our neighbor saw her walking around our house. I hate to think about it, hate to think of her wondering where we were and why the door wasn't open for her. If we didn't go to the backdoor to let her in, she would walk around to the front. She would go back and fourth until someone opened the door. Usually it was Eddie. How many times did she go back and fourth that day? I hate to think that she thought that we just left her.

She is gone, and I'm heart broken. I have tried really, really hard not to think too much about it or dwell on it because I don't want to put anymore stress on my body because I know the hysterical crying that I'm holding in will put me into contractions. And even after typing the above paragraph I'm crying so hard that I can't see the screen.

Today something blowing around the porch caught my eye and I jumped up to see if it was her. The other night some kids were playing outside after dark and some sound that they were making traveled into our window and sounded just like her meow. I ran downstairs calling her, calling out the windows, standing out of the porch calling the cat that I knew I heard. It didn't dawn on me until I saw the kids in the back when I went out into the backyard to call for her. Frank has gone to the shelters and she's not there. Our friends joke that he should just bring back any black cat and I wouldn't know the difference. Frank knows I would, and honestly, I find the jokes upsetting and hurtful.

Fiona was one of my babies. She was mean - really mean - for a long time until we got her fixed. Then, some switch flipped and she became cuddly and lovey and a good cat. Frank fell in love with her then, too. She would lay on my belly when I was pregnant with Eddie and when he would kick her, she would chase his little kicks and punches all around my belly....until she was over the game and just wanted to sleep. At that point she would slowly dig her claws into my tum. It was hilarious. Eddie loved her so much - he knew just how to hold his hand to have her come up to him. She learned patience with him. He learned gentleness from her.

I miss her everyday. I miss her pushing my face with hers in the middle of the night to get under the blankets. I miss her crazily meowing for Frank to give her food at night. Frank and I would say that she was our favorite pet - Saddie is crazy and Jack Jack smells, but Nona was our perfect baby. I even miss the way she would drink from my water glasses. I am so, so heartbroken. And many days I hold grudges against those who didn't call her in. Who didn't go pick her up and put her back in the house.

I've stopped calling for her. I've stopped leaving food in the backyard incase she's just out having an adventure. The worst part though? Eddie hasn't. Eddie still asks for her, calls her, and wants to know where she is. He doesn't understand why she won't be coming back. He asks a million times where she is. And those questions? They suck. I try my best to try and act calm about it, but really I just want to breakdown and cry.

The other day he was calling her. "OH! MOMMA! I found her! I found Nona!" me, trying not to cry, asked him where he saw her. "In the sun, Momma. She's up in the sun."


I wish I could still make myself believe that she is out on an adventure, but each day that passes I find myself coming to terms with Eddie's idea that she's in the sun. Good thing too, sun spots were (of course) her favorite.

Labor and Delivery take 2

Last night Finn and I took another trip to L&D. Ugh.

Contractions started around 2pm and were coming 3-6 minutes apart lasting for about a minute each. As if that weren't enough to catch some attention, they really started to hurt. That whole, fuck-i-know-i-should-be-breathing-but-i'm-not-sure-there-is-room-for-my-lungs-to-expand-fuck-this-hurts, kind. Mommas, you know what I'm talking about. So I called. And I was totally expecting an order to take another Procardia and come in if they don't stop then. Instead I got a 'come into L&D, Dr. D will meet you there'. And oh, over protective Dr. D, I love you, but COME ON. Dr.K promised me that if I ever called with this situation that we would play with my Procardia first. But then as I thought about it, I figured out what he was thinking....it had been 2 weeks and a couple days since my last trip, and one of the tests they do measures out 2 weeks. So we needed a new one.

(For the record, the test I'm talking about is a Fetal Fibernectin Test. FFN is what the cool kids call it. And it basically tests for a hormone that you produce during labor. If it comes back positive, it means you can deliver within the next 2 weeks. If it is negative, you're pretty much in the clear). It's an important test that we have learned doctors put a lot of trust in. So we trust it too. Along with an FFN, I got an ultrasound to check my cervical length. My FFN was negative, my cervix is still nice and long. (TMI, I know). After around 3 hours, some tests and half a bag of fluids, I was on my merry way home with the same ol' "we don't know why you do this, but we just have to wait it out". And we don't have that much longer to wait....in 2.5 weeks, if my body does this again, we're going to let it ride and see where we go. At that point, the steps that we take to stop contractions can do more harm to Finn than good. So in 2.5 weeks, Finn can come!

Unfortunatley, this trip to L&D had me pretty down. Last time, I loved my nurses. Fantastic nurses make a HUGE difference. These nurses seemed to have me written off the second I came in. Which was a weird second at that. The nurse that was checking me in looked at my mom and asked her first name. "You're Bonnie R___, and I went to high school with you" she said in a tone that had me...curious. When she walked out my mom said that my nurse hated her in high school. While my mom was there waiting for Frank to arrive, the high school reunion nurse and the other nurse continued with these oddly snotty comments. So when it came time for the good ol' duck bill and my internal swab for the FFN, I sent Momma packin. Because a) she doesn't need to see that awesomeness and b) i wanted to see what would happen when she left. And it was weird after she left....the nurses didn't quite interact with me in a friendly or caregiving manner, I was poked and prodded so quickly without any care for comfort, I was in tears and one point.

I'm sorry, but COME ON. I've been through this before. I can show you the best place to put the monitor to catch Finn's heartbeat and the best place to measure for contractions. If you put them in places that aren't picking up the contractions all the way, I'm going to move it. I can tell you that yes, my left arm has veins that look awesome, but that they are also tricky as hell and don't like to be poked. So when I tell you that the nurse that tried that exact vein blew it, and see that bruise, it's from her, and you don't believe me and continue to stab me with a fucking knitting needle while I contract, I'm going to start to say ow. And when another nurse has to tell you to stop trying to force it in and literally TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU, it's time to stop. Please. Just use my right arm like I asked you to in the first place. I know the ultrasound techs by name and can show you the back way there. Need a clean catch urine sample? I'll show you the closet they're stored in, I don't need instructions on how to do so. Nurses that treat me like a child get put on the bitch list. Nurses that treat me like a human being who maybe has some experience in this and don't suck get massive points.

Phew. Holy rant. But good nurses, I love you. Bad nurses, learn compassion and care. Women in L&D are there to have babies, not be treated like them. Whether you liked their Mom in high school or not.

Nevermind

Ok, posting on the ipad is just not working out. So we're on the regular desktop computer. Onto our Monday ramblings.....

*we had terrible storms this morning, ones that produced winds in some areas up to 100mph. I woke up to the storm and then a paniced call from my Mom saying that a window blew in, a tree was down over the fence and the bench was in the pool. She got some pretty good damage!

{eddie is distraught as to why we can't go in the pool}

*aside from eddie being completely loco yesterday and wearing out every inch of Daddy's patience, he's still handling the bedrest pretty well. And why was Daddy so low on patience yesterday? He had a bachelor party the night before. And let me tell you, it is damn hard to keep a straight face when your toddler is throwing a tear filled tantrum and saying "BUT I WANNA GO TO THE LACHELOR PAWTY!!!!"

*while playing with the tape measure with eddie, I decided to measure my belly. We're at a whopping 46.5 inches! Holy hell. I guess we'll make this a Monday rambling tradition....



iPad testing

Test....test....let's see if I can figure out how to add pictures to blogger from the iPad...

A visitor to the garden

This week we had a very interesting visitor at my parent's house....

It is some sort of Hummingbird Moth....and while I wish I had more info, the only stuff I could find on google was from the UK (oops!) so all we know about it is pretty much what we learned when we were out there...it is not a Hummingbird (it was far uglier) and was totally undisturbed by humans. My mom was literally inches away from it when she first found it, and even Eddie got super close to it a couple times. Not to mention that I followed the thing around with my camera and it pretty much could care less.

The info I did find said that they return to the same spots around the same time every day, so we've all been keeping our eyes out for Eddie's "Honeybird". And since we were all so fascinated my it, I made sure to pick up a hummingbird feeder when I took a scooter trip around Target.....we'll see if we get any more visits from our ugly little friend! 

Randoms

Can I just say I'm so happy that I'm on bedrest in the summer? I mean, yes, it is hot, but if I was stuck on the couch in the winter, that would just be bad. Really bad. Plus, I couldn't rock this look for 90% of my bed rest time...

{oh yeah! blog readers, i totally just subjected you to my massive belly, in a bathing suit, hair undone and makeup-less. You're welcome!}

{edited for Jen....no, those are not sweat pants! puh-lease! it's my favorite black saraong thing. it belongs to the momma but it is firmly planted on my tush whenever I'm there}

{sweatpants. pshaw}

So far bed rest is going well. My belly has really started to feel heavy in the last couple days, so I'm a little worried that my fluid levels are going back up. Plus I get a contraction everytime I stand up (damn irritable ute) so I'm pretty sure it's getting quite a bit of pressure from this big belly.

I know a lot of people are asking how Eddie is doing with me on bed rest, and the answer is simple...he's awesome. He knows the face I make when I get a contraction means Momma is getting an 'ouchie' and he hands me my water. He knows the sound of my alarm, the one that lets me know to take my pill, and happily announces that its time for Momma's 'vitamin'. He tries his best to understand that Momma can't take walks anymore, and even says that Dr. K says that Momma can't. Of course this doesn't mean that there aren't tears or fits, but overall he's holding strong. I hope that our decision to explain as much of this as possible is the right thing to do.

He knows that baby Finn needs to grow nice and big in Momma, and in addition to the love my belly gets on a daily basis, every couple of days he also asks to see the ultrasound pictures of Finn. And thanks to the awesomeness of the 3D ultrasound, he happily points out Finn's eyes and nose and mouth. I hope with all my heart that he doesn't feel jealousy towards Finn, but at this point, because Finn is still 'inside', he doesn't totally comprehend. I'm sure once Finney arrives there will be lots of jealousy!

Earlier today Eddie told me that he didn't want me to go back in the hospital. After explaining to him that I would have to go back once Finn comes out, and that I would have to stay there a couple days with Finn, he (adorably) told me "OK, Momma. But no more hospital until Finn comes out!"

Totally a deal I'm willing to make.

Happy Birshday 'Merica!

Oh, yes. I had Eddie adorably saying 'Happy Birshday 'Merica!' all day. Heh. How does one celebrate the 4th of July on modified bedrest? Well, let's take a look...

{ps, there are going to be a ton of pictures around here. since i'm not the one chasing eddie around, i can take a lot more....and we thought i took a lot of pictures before....}

{first, one sees fireworks while driving home, pulls over at a dead end road and watches from the safety of the car. perfection}

{the next night, one borrows fireworks from ones neighbors and lights them off}

{i mean....allegedly....}

{then, one finds "eddie fireworks" aka poppers and lets the toddler fall in love even more with fireworks}

{boo...this picture is out of focus but i loooove the expression on his face!}

{and momma can participate!}

{then we do a little yard work while running through sprinklers}

{then we get dressed up for fireworks!}

{and after going through the drive thru at dairy queen and spotting an open outside table, we decided to just hunker down there and hope that the firework view was ok. eddie was super excited. the ice cream face totally helps make this picture fantastic}

{so underneath the giant DQ sign and behind the ghetto ATM and drive thru menu, we watched fireworks. And had an almost perfect view. With a potty! Totally perfect when running around with a toddler}

{jim, michelle, doug and mariana joined us, too! eddie was thrilled to have friends watching fireworks with him}

{doug even got festive}

{eddie's blankie worked as the perfect earmuff. and daddy? he's always the perfect back rest}

{that is one happy firework loving man}

{also, notice the smoke. it slowly creeped through the park where they were setting them off (and tons of people were sitting), across the street and to us. doug said it perfectly .... "i smell cancer!" .... that stuff can't be good for us, but i still love our perfectly imperfect firework spot}

Eddie was out just about the second we got in the car. That was until he heard a firework pop and I heard a sleepy voice from the backseat ask "more fireworks?" .... when I turned around to look at him, his eyes were still closed. I still answered no, and again, eyes closed and sleepy voiced "but I can heaw dem".

Little boys love fireworks. No matter how sleepy :)

for the love of Uncle Mac

Eddie has an insane love for his Uncle Mac. And after seeing him this weekend, I'm sure the love is going to be a zillion times stronger. Uncle Mac plays the guitar! And he used a drill! And got Eddie a boat for in the pool! And, and, and....lots of other cool things that make him a complete and total toddler idol.

{bouncing in a thomas tunnel? all the rage}

{and then of course they have to switch}

{and uncle mac can jump super high!}

{and he can swing like a monkey on the broken swing}

{and he can make some funny faces}

{check out eddie cracking up at uncle mac}

{eddie isn't looking at the ground here, he is literally doubled over laughing}

{eddie's turn!}

{really high!}

{uncle mac then found some scrap wood in the garage and made a new swing!}

{soooo happy!}

{best.picture.of.mac.ever}

{ok, the story here. this picture is a re-creation. i took one similar that was impromptu and FANTASTIC. like, one of my best pictures ever. and then i deleted it. and almost died. and then i made everyone redo it. and it's not the same, but i still love it even if aunt amy hates it!}

{and then mac played us cee-lo's "fuck you" on his ukelele. which was awesome}

Add all that up and you have one rocking afternoon with your Uncle. Eddie is so lucky to have such a fun Uncle!

Sprinkler

First, the new info.....I had a doctor's appointment today, my first after my exciting weekend and I have to say that I am soooo happy to be back with Dr. K. I love that man more and more every time I see him. Plus, he's got a spot on  Dr. B accent that had me dying. And? He totally agreed that Dr. B is kinda a dick and any doctor that will call out another doctor for their sub-par personality is even more of a rockstar in my opinion.

So Dr. K is comfortable with where I'm at. My blood pressure was a little funny, but all is fine since I'm technically on a blood pressure medication and he wasn't concerned. He also changed me to modified bed rest, which basically means I can go anywhere if I'm going to be sitting.....his examples were church and a movie. I'm adding a pedicure chair to that list :) He wants me on that until 36 weeks, where as I was expecting 34, but since I have a smidge more freedom on MBR I'm cool with it.

So yay.

And now for the fun stuff. Prepare for lots of pictures around here! Eddie is mostly cooperating with the camera lately....he'll tell me when and what to take pictures of, which is so funny. Now that I think of it, I'll do a post of pictures that he told me to take. They're so great.

And yes, there are a million sprinkler pictures, because there was no way that I could chose just a couple!

{oh my gosh the giggles}

{this one might just be my favorite}

He ran from the sprinkler to the pool and back again over and over again....it was adorable. I'm not sure how in the world little kids know just the right way to run through a sprinkler (wait until it's low, run through squeeling and giggling, turn around and do it again) but it was the funniest thing to watch.

We're just about starting to get our listening skills back on track, and the exploration and imagination that comes with this age is just amazing. The other day he was also just floating in the pool on his tummy and declared he was an astronaut. His other favorites are construction guy (the most often), fireman eddie, golf guy, football player, etc.....and he'll tell you when and how you are supposed to address him. "Momma, say 'good job baseball player!' " Momma, say, 'wow astronaut guy!' " It is too funny.