Happy Birthday Eddie!

 Happy Birthday Eddie-man!!!!!!

{huge smile? marker on the face drawing a goatee like daddy? this is pretty much your standard every day}

You are three years old today, and I can hardly believe it. You seem so small and so big all at the same time....but, well, instead of small I suppose I should say young, because buddy? You're not small. You're quite a few inches taller than every kid in your preschool class and just built differently - while their arms and legs just seem so little and frail, yours are just.....sturdy. Its the best word I can come up with to describe your build....one day you are going to grow up to be quite the guy. A protector of your friends, just like your daddy.

You love anything that is construction, firemen or sports. Your daddy and I laugh that we go through all of the sports in a day...your favorites right now are golf (ugh, please stop with the fascination of watching golf on TV!) and baseball. But you don't descriminate and also love to watch swimming and diving with Momma (and you're great and taking your mark on the ottoman and diving on to the couch) and even gymnastics. You are going to love the 2012 Olympics.

This month you became a big brother, and you are so amazing. Your daddy and I were just talking about how we are so happy that we are able to see you as a big brother...it is just another peice of you that is so amazing and I feel so blessed to be a part of. This picture of you holding Finn is a pretty good representation of you on a daily basis. You're such a happy fellow, except when you aren't and then? Holy crap, buddy. You can throw a fit. Also? You shirts are stained within 2 minutes of putting them on, always. You're pretty messy.

You got a big boy bike for your birthday! And oh man, you were so excited. In fact, you threw quite the massive tantrum when it was time to go to preschool orientation because you wanted to stay and ride your bike. Thank God for your love of Dunkin  Donuts, because that was the only way we could get you out of the house! You're also currently trying your best to convince me that your bike should be an inside toy. And even though you're stubborn, you got that from someone, honey. And I will always be more stubborn than you.

We went to your favorite restaurant - Mr. Samaurai - for your birthday dinner and you loved it, of course. You still love to watch people cook, even on TV (your favorite it the Barefoot Contessa), and this time you were chatting up the chef the whole time. Every item he put on the cooktop you said you loved it. And even though it was true, you do love brocolli (still your favorite veggie) and shrimp and steak and mushrooms and zuchinni (you say zuppini, and we have some growing in the garden that you are in charge of picking. You love finding new zuppinis and always jump up and down yelling), it was funny to watch you.

Also? I love that picture of you and your daddy. I can't see how people say that you look anything like me....you are a total clone of your daddy. Check out the lips, cheeks, eyebrows...even your ears are mini replicas of your daddy's! The only thing you got from me are your teeth (yay for future orthodontic bills!) and your eye color.

You are very independent and will now only hold my hand crossing the street. We even went to the outlet mall and you did such a good job opening the door for me to push the stroller thru and staying close(ish) while we looked around. You love to help and we can convince you to do pretty much anything if we sell it as you being the BIGGEST! HELPER!! EVER!!!! Actually, we can pretty much sell anything to you if we use enough exclamation points. You are very, very smart though, and your memory surprises me every day. You can recall the smallest details about a trip or person and can memorize things so quickly. You can tell us the town and street you live on and you now are obsessed with knowing what town people live or work in.

 I once bribbed you to say your ABC's for a marshmallow and you still expect one when you say them. You still love Saddie and are skeptical of Jack-Jack, but overall Sydney and Daisy are your favorite dogs. Your best buddy is still Velia, your little wife-to-be. You love to talk to anyone and we can often find you sneaking into the backyard to talk to the neighbors.....the adults, not the kids :)

I love you so much little man and can't wait to see what three brings us. You amaze me every day, every hour and every minute...in good ways and in bad (ha!). 2 year old you was pretty awesome and I know 3 will be just as great!

Happy Due Date!

Happy Due Date to Finnegan Matthew!

It is hard to believe that Mr. Finnegan is almost 4 weeks old!

-He is still able to fit into newborn clothes, but also starting to fill out 3 month sizes.

-Finn's eyes are still blue (and I swear, getting brighter every day, not darker) and his hair is a blonde/copper color (just like Eddie's) that turns out more red in pictures.

-He loves being held and if he figures out that you've put him down you are in for some screaming.

-Finney is more aware as the days go on, loving to watch Eddie and crossing his eyes less when he tries to focus on faces.

-He still is grunting a lot, farting a lot, and peeing and pooing on us a lot. His tush is now referred to as Mount St. Finnegan and it erupts on a regular basis. We'll start selling tickets soon.

-Finn is doing really well at night - most nights he sleeps in 5 hour stretches, making us keep like our asses have been kicked when he wakes like a normal 4 week old.

{big brother eddie loves to hold him still}

{he got loved on by nanna and grandpa}

{and uncle mac finally got a chance to hold him! he loves it, even if he is uncomfortable. aunt amy is much happier snuggling her nephew}

{and met great grandma rosie! (sorry for the bad cell phone pic)}

{and he already loves firemen just like eddie!}

All in all, Finn is an awesome little man. Sure, he wants to be held a lot, but you won't find me complaining about baby snuggles! He also has gotten snuggled by his Auntie Tiss and Grandma and Grandpa Frank, but somehow I don't have pictures of that. Poop! So far it has been a wonderful 4 weeks....I can't wait to see how the little man grows and changes <3

Fan Days at BVZ!

This weekend was the Blackhawk's themed "Fan Days" at Brookfield Zoo and of course we went :) There were lots of hockey themed activities and giveaways and autographs by legend Dennis Savard. Of course we also saw the animals, ate lunch in our favorite little getaway of the play zoo backyard and just had lots of fun. It was also the first time Frankie has gone to the zoo in a while, so that was a special treat.

{eddie is all "what's up, guys?"}

{HOCKEY ALL STAR!!! Eddie made 2 out of 3 of his shots. He's awesome}

{loved the giant bag set. LOVED. also? loved the little old lady (behind us) and the little old man running it. When there weren't kids on it, they would play and it was adorable}

{oh man. good thing his hockey form is better than his bags form!}

 Today also marked Finn's first trip to the zoo! I'm sure we will go a billion more times this fall, but we had to take some first time pictures.

{'momma!' says eddie 'finney has grass on his back!'}

{best big brother, let me tell you}

{Aw, Finn has major old man face going on here. Sweet little farter.}

{Check out those blue eyes!! Fingers crossed they stay that way, I would die to have a blue eyed boy}

And of course I got some fun random pics from around the zoo.....

{about 4 years ago my mom and i got to pet a white rino at a behind the scenes tour of disney's animal kingdom and I have loved rinos ever since. this guy was loving all the people in front of him lining up for the autographs}

{eddie loves watering the plants in the greenhouse, i love taking pictures in there}

{does this guy remind anyone else of Melvin from the movie Madagascar?}

Such a fun day, totally worth Eddie's lack of nap to watch him be a awesome hockey player and wander with the hubs. I love, love wearing Finney around in the wrap - it is so, so easy (5 yards of jersey fabric and google how to tie a moby wrap - it's the same thing, half the price and worth the sanity if you have a newborn and a toddler).



(((yawn)))

Phew. Finney kicked our ass last night.

He's been a rockstar lately with sleeping - mostly 5 hours at a time at night for a couple days now. We got spoiled. So last night when he was up until 11:00, slept until 1:00 and was up until 3:00 and then got up again at 4:00, my ass was done. So while I normally let Frank sleep through the am feedings (and glare at him with hate in my eyes) I woke him up, handed him the baby and slept. And what do you know? Finn was fed and out within 25 minutes. Damn. Hopefully tonight he goes back to the much preffered once a night waking.

I'd like to say I'll write a longer post later, but this is probably how it's going to be for a while! I'll take nap over blogging any day :)

one year older (and a brunette!)

 it has been a weekend of birthday love for me, starting with a trip to lowes over the weekend to get my birthday presents (plants, plants, bench, more plants), a gathering with frankie's parents and sister,  an impromptu playdate with my favorite cousin (in law) and dinner with my parents and brother and sister in law. last night we decided to take advantage of my p's awesome backyard and gt some cut pictures of me and the boys (and my new kardashian hair, which thankfully lightened up after some highlights!).

and since i'm typing this one handed while i pump, i'll be back later with a better post!

Beautiful Boy

Since most people have gotten them, I wanted to post Finney's birth announcement picture here. Like I said before, I'm really proud of this picture and am slowly beginning to be better at taking compliments on my photos....my mom is actually getting this picture (in black and white) and my favorite picture of Eddie (the black and white one at the end) printed on mounted prints for my birthday :)))) so excited!!

{and yes, he rocks a mowhawk all the time. and yes, it is awesome}

Midweek Ramblings

*Lots of people have been asking how Finn is eating, and the answer is simple : he's doing great. We have him off of the every 3 hour schedule and are just feeding him on demand, which basically comes out to be every 3-4 hours. Except for that really fun night where he ate every hour and a half and Frank and I were all SHIT. And in that moment, I was thankful that I wasn't actually nursing. Because holy nipple pain, batman. Every hour and a half would have SUCKED.

*And since I mentioned that, I'll clarify this as well - I am pumping for Finn, just like I did for Eddie. The NICU nurses and the nurses at Kish were very encouraging when it came to nursing Finn once he got used to the bottle, and Finn rocked at latching and all of that fun stuff. But my milk came in and it came in hard. As in, I get 4 feedings for Finney out of one 20 minute pumping session. And since Finn was still getting used to the bottle at that point, I was scared that he was going to get flooded from my oversupply and get freaked out and all of the progress we had made with the bottle would be gone. For me, it was easy to go back to my routine of pumping since I did it with Eddie and honestly, it felt more natural and comfortable for me. So we still get to measure what he's eating, he still gets breastmilk and everyone is happy.

*And Eddie? He kinda loves the pump. For the first couple of days he would take anything and everything, shove it up his shirt and say 'i pumping'. Which, as I'm sure you can guess, is awesome. Try to explain that one to a three year old and see how far ya get. And while he hasn't 'pumped' in a while, it hasn't stopped the crazy questions I get while I do it!

*And Eddie part 2? He's a big brother rockstar still. He loves Finn, hasn't shown one hint of jealousy or asked to send him back or anything of the sort. He loves to hold him, kiss him, lay with him on the floor...on and on. I hate to say it, but I'm totally shocked. I expected some outbursts and trouble, but so far so good! Let's hope it continues.

*Today is my first day alone with both boys. And I'm shitting my pants.

*A scheduling problem with our normal photographer had me playing her part with Finney yesterday. And thanks to my mom and my super cute baby, I got an awesome and amazing picture that I can't wait to send out. And in turn, I learned a fun lesson - I really need to believe in myself more! I saved us a bunch of money (and time, which is most important to Frank since he's so hard to schedule when he's back at work) and got a beautiful picture of Finnegan.


And possibly the most random thought of all?

*I'm 90% sure breast feeding is mother nature's way of saying she's sorry for the crap she put us through for 9 months. Because seriously? I get a happy little surprise every time I look in the mirror and remember that I've got instant implants. No more big tummy, finally able to dye my hair and amazingly awesome boobs....I haven't been this confident in months! Ha!

For the love of Facebook

It is no secret that I love not only to blog, but I love to read and follow tons (seriously, I read way too many) blogs of other families and parents. Some I know, some I've grown to know through comments and message boards and some I have found on luck and continued to read. Along the way, there have been babies born, some premature, and some enough so to have NICU stays. I know that so many of the bigger bloggers get crap for blogging/tweeting/facebooking while their children are in the hospital, and I was always on the side of the critics....how could these parents waste time with that crap when their babies were in the hospital? And then I went through it.

We all know that I put up a facebook status right before I was transferred via helicopter during my preterm labor with Finn. I had stayed quite about my time in the hospital before that moment...I didn't want the attention and worry of my little facebook world. But then something clicked. I wanted the thoughts, prayers and good wishes. I was basically told that I was delivering at 29 week old baby and I figured we needed all the help we could get. And the outpour of love from my facebook friends was extrodinary and comforting in a way that I can't quite explain.

When Finn was born and brought to Rockford, my phone was with me all the time. Taking pictures, updating friends and family with texts and facebooking. That's right - I was on facebook sitting next to Finn's isolette, doing exactly what I had judged a million other bloggers for. But facebook is awesome for the simple fact that it is complete mindless entertainment. Not only did I spend time laughing at status updates and pictures of my friends, I posted updates on Finnegan too. And again, the outpour of love and support was extrodinary. Well wishes from Wisconsin, Arizona, Utah, Florida, Texas and even Germany came pouring in. Finn suddenly had this support system, this web of people cheering him on every step of the way from not only all over our country, but from others as well. My smiles grew with every comment and like, and I'm not sure I will ever be able to thank people enough for those simple gestures. 

But Facebook is good for something else.....making connections when you least expect them. When I was first transfered to Rockford, my mom also posted a good thought request. And in addition to more love for me and Finn, she also got an interesting response - her friend's sister in law was the Director of the Women and Children's Unit there. My mom's friend said that she passed along my info and the next morning, we were visited in the OB unit by K. Frank and I laughed that afternoon that we had just freaked out all of the nurses in OB. When Finn was transferred over there, Frank and I talked a bit about trying to stop and say hello to her, but we never made the time. So when we saw K walking around the NICU on the morning that we were being transferred, we took the time to stop her and say hello. One of our nurses saw us joking with her and mentioned that she was "the big boss" after the conversation ended.  I went on to explain how the funny little world of facebook played into "knowing" her and let it go...after all, we were being transferred out and I was just happy that I was able to say hello to K because she was so nice the first time we met.

And now? The funny little world of facebook is coming full circle. I noticed a new follower the other day, and while I don't normally shout out new followers, I'm totally calling this one out. The favorite nurse that I've mentioned a couple times? My nurse BFF? The wonderful and amazing Elise? She reads the blog!!!! I was so excited!! And I may or may not have searched her full name on Facebook to confirm it was her (I suppose we can call this mild stalking, but whatever). And armed with her full name, I just sent off an email singing her praises to the big boss. Fingers crossed that she gets some love from RMH, because giving her some K-Cups and a coffee mug just isn't enough for my favorite NICU nurse.

So thank you, Facebook, for entertaining me while I sat in my big blue chair at the NICU, for allowing my team of Finn supporters to grow bigger than I ever expected, and for allowing me to find my favorite. I'm forever grateful for your ability to let the world stalk each other.

Wishes

Auntie Stef visited today, and she brought a card that was so incredibly perfect, not just for Finn, but for both of my boys.

"May he welcome the world with an open mind

:::::::::::::::::::::::

May he laugh often and give freely

::::::::::::::::::::::

May he grow to be strong and brave and wise

:::::::::::::::::::::

May he love with a full and trusting heart

::::::::::::::::::::

May your new baby boy enjoy a life filled with love and happiness.

As a parent, isn't that exactly what you wish for your sons? It is so perfect. 

The timeline

So, WE'RE HOME!!!!! Party over here!!!

I wanted to take a sec to write up our full timeline, just I have it when I go officially crazy caring for a newborn and a toddler.


*Sunday, July 31 I was taken off of Procardia at 36 weeks pregnant. Contractions started that evening and I was put back on the Procardia to stop them.

*Wednesday, August 3, contractions started again. I was sent to the hospital for an IV bolus to try and stop them.

*Around 5pm I began getting sharp, stabbing pains in my previous c-section scar. Dr. D was concerned that the scar on my uterus wasn't holding well during the contractions.

*At 6:30pm text messages went out to close friends and family that I would have Finn within the hour. We start getting ready to go.

{gotta love a frankie in scrubs}

*Finnegan Matthew Turza was born at 7:32pm. 7 pounds, 15 ounces and 19 inches long. His one minute APGAR score is a 3. They work on him for what seems like an awfully long time - 9 minutes per the little timer in the OR (thank you, photographic memory). He is pretty blue at birth (the picture is totally creepy) but crying. He takes a gulp of fluid upon coming out.

{we had the same anesthesiologist as we did with  Eddie's c-section. He took pictures the whole time for Eddie's and we asked him to do it again for Finn's. So happy to have some pictures!}

*Finn's 5 minute APGAR score is an 8. He is taken to the nursery where they find that his oxygen saturation is 40. It is guessed that his lungs aren't mature enough to fight the fluid and continue to breathe normally. He also has elevated white blood cells, the beginning signs of an infection. A call is made to Rockford and he is transferred to Rockford via helicopter sometime around 2am. Frank stayed in the nursery the whole time, I was able to touch his hand and foot for a couple minutes before being ushered out. I also got to say bye as they wheeled his little stretcher/isolette away. (and I have to say, my best friend Stef and her fiance Mike came to the hospital right after Finn was born. They were in the room when I said bye to Finn, and kept me thankfully distracted and pretty much keeping my shit together. If I had to sit in that room by myself while my husband drove and my baby flew to Rockford, I would have gone mental. So, so thankful to Stef and Mike looking back on it!)

{frank snapped this picture for me before Finney was taken to Rockford. I wanted to make sure I knew what my baby looked like and needed inspiration for pumping}

*Finnegan gets a breathing tube so they can insert Serfactin (sp?) into his lungs. It is a medication that somehow stimulates the lungs to get going. He is put on a bubble cpap which, as I understood it, basically put pressure on his lungs to keep them open. His little lungs were too premature and had the possibility to collapse if he wasn't on this. The serfactin worked and he didn't need to be on oxygen. He has a feeding tube (NG tube) so he can get the colostrum that I am able to pump and formula that they needed to supplement. He also has an IV for fluids and antibiotics. He has an oxygen saturation monitor on his foot, and IV in his arm and heart and respitory monitors.

*On Thursday, August 4 I was released from Kish and my mom and Eddie drove me up to Rockford. I think the whole time I was telling her to drive faster :) I was very motivated to get there!} When I walk in and see him, I am a mix of bat shit crazy and hysterical. I wanted to know what every single that was on him - what is did, why it was there and what we wanted to see from it. I broke down into hysterical sobs many times and later apologized to the nurse for being so crazed. I just wasn't quite expecting how bad it was....and in NICU terms, he wasn't that bad, but it was terrifying for me.

*Thursday evening, 24 hours after birth, I was able to hold my baby for the first time. We did skin to skin contact - an amazing feeling even with all the monitors and whatnot. I cried happy tears for the first time since his birth.

*Friday afternoon Finney is freed from his bubble CPAP. His feeding tube is moved from his mouth to his nose, and we start working on 'nippling' - getting him used to taking feedings from a bottle. His Grandma and Grandpa Frank come to visit for the first time!

*We keep chugging along. Somewhere along the way we're also visited by Keith and Erin, but I honestly don't remember what day! LOL. Saturday we get an amazing nurse, Elise, who rocks beyond belief and is going to get her own post. She gives my dad crap when he visits and is officially a member of our family. Saturday is spent mostly working on nippling and cuddling. Nanna and Granpa visit! Elise lets Frankie and I get really hands on - we take his temperature and change diapers. We become pros at working within the isolette and love feeling involved in his care.

{finn's first bath by momma and daddy! cousin Jen visited and played photographer for us. A whole post about this coming up - Jen took a ton of pictures!}

*Sunday morning we surprise Eddie at Grandma and Grandpa Frank's house. It is my first time seeing him since Wednesday afternoon and we plan on taking him back to our house for a bit so he we can do some laundry and pack some more. He is thrilled to see us, but says he wants to stay with Grandpa. Stinker.

*The rest of Sunday was an incredibly scary day. On morning rounds, we were told that one of Finn's test came back positive for group B strep. This was our biggest fear - GBS is a very strong bacteria and is very, very dangerous. Because the test came back positive, they were preparing to give Finn a spinal tap/LP to test his spinal fluid and the fluid around is brain. Worst, worst case scenario was that Finn would have an infection in this fluid which could cause a variety of problems, such as hearing loss. We were also told that he would have to stay for 7-10 days for antibiotics, minimum. While this was processing - and it sucked to try and process - we got weird news. There was an indication that the test could be a false positive - an outside contaminant which could have caused the culture to come back positive. The fact that the culture popped positive on day 4 was the first indication that something was up. Since GBS is so strong, they felt it would have grown closer to day 2. We ran some more tests to try and figure out if we had an outside contaminant or if Finney really had this bacteria messing with him.

*Sunday afternoon cousin Jen visits and is named best NICU visitor of all time. She brings candy, magazines, diapers and humor. After our weird morning, to have her around just to talk to and laugh with was priceless.

{ohhh I'm gunna be in trouble for this}

*Monday we anxiously awaitied test results. The first test to come in would give us the best idea on if Finney was really fighting this bacteria and thankfully, they came back in our favor, basically ruling out infection and confirming the fact that the previous culture reacted to some sort of outside contaminant.

*Finn is taking about half of each feeding from the bottle! He goes to town on it for about 15 minutes (he has 30 to finish a feeding) and then just falls asleep too hard to finish. He's getting there, though, and we're thrilled!

*Uncle Mac, Aunt Amy, Nanna and Eddie come to visit! Eddie is only allowed to look at Finn through the NICU windows, but we walk Finn over to the windows so Eddie can get a good look. It was adorable. Nanna hung out with Finn while Eddie, Frank, Mac, Amy and I went out for lunch.

*Before we went out we got word that they were going to try and transfer Finn back to Kishwaukee Hospital. Because he was in the clear for infection and only working on nippling at this point, they felt that Kish could care for him adequately. It is around 2:00 and they hope to transfer him by 3:00. Kish isn't prepared for us though, and can't get ready in time. We plan to transfer at 8:00 the next morning.

*Through the night Finn continues to rock the bottle. That night he took the highest amount yet - 50mL by mouth of his 65mL feeding. At his morning bottle, he even beats that and does 53mL by mouth! This is huge and we're hoping that nippling has finally clicked and our stay at Kish is short.

*At 8am on August 9, we're ready to go! We hit a small snag when the transfter nurse doesn't show, but are secretly happy with the result....the transfer nurse that was on yesterday is going to come in for Finn's transfter. We loved Phillis, and feel 100% comfortable with her taking Finn.

{for 6 days this little area was our home. My big blue chair, Frankie's rocker and Finn's isolette. we are thrilled to say SEE YA! to this place}

{Finn getting strapped into his little stretcher isolette with Phillis and his awesome ambulance driver, who I'm pretty sure was named Jerry}

{in he goes!}

*We get to Kish before 10:00 and Finn is taken out of the heated isolette and put into a normal basinet for the first time! He has to get his NG tube (the feeding tube from his nose into his tummy) changed. The process isn't the greatest, but we hope that he doesn't need it for long.

*By Tuesday afternoon  Finn is taking almost the full feeding amount by bottle. He continues to gain weight and 12 hours after his transfer he has already put on 2 ounces!

*Wednesday the 10th marks Finnegan's one week birthday! He continues to take almost all his feedings by mouth (he only missed one!) and the nurses are all super positive that he's going to be going home tomorrow. When pedi Dr. C comes to round in the morning, she takes out Finn's feeding tube. HOORAY!!!

{we finally get to see our munchkin tube free!}

*Eddie comes to visit and is better than any of us expected...he is totally in love with Finn.

{he walked right up and said hi, ooh'd and ahhh'd over how cute he was, rubbed his head, held his hand and helped me hold the bottle. Eddie was totally ready to jump into being such an awesome helper}

*Eddie was ready to hold Finn right away. We expected him to hold him for a second and then get fidgety and want to get up, but the opposite happened! He would have held that baby for forever and even told me to go away! He said "I've got it, Momma". Such a good big brother!

{our first family picture. I'm so in love with this moment of Eddie singing to Finn}

*The rest is a pretty short story. Finn continued to rock with the bottle and gained another 2 ounces in 24 hours. In the morning when Dr. C came around, we were already packed and ready to go :) She came in around 7:30 and told us that it was time to go. We wasted no time and started loading bags onto a cart that second....we had Finn in the carseat in the next couple minutes and practically ran down to the car. I didn't even take any pictures of him getting loaded into the carseat or into the car...we really weren't wasting time!

One week and one day after Finn came into the world, he got to come home. And it feels better than I could ever imagine.

And the rest is history. Eddie came home yesterday afternoon and was again, super in love with Finn. I've even had my initiation to caring for both of my boys by myself when Frank went to get his haircut last night! Finn has continued to be a rockstar, Eddie is doing awesome and Frank and I are trying to sleep when we can. Finn is on a pretty tight every 3 hours schedule since being in the hospital, and since I'm pumping it is kind of a hustle to feed, pump and get some sleep in the time between feedings. Add in playing with Eddie and eating and showering, it's an adjustment. But one that I'm totally happy to have.