Pre-term Labor

Frank and I laughed as I apologized for being such a medical drama queen. Between pre-term labor with Eddie (which my new neonatologist now calls "pre-term contractions/irratability) and my gallbladder removal and appendectomy, I've seen quite a lot of hospitals in the past couple years. I'm going to write out our drama from this weekend while it is still fresh in my mind, mostly so I have all the drugs I had and the times and whatnot recorded. Here we go, folks....


I had some contractions on Saturday afternoon, ones that were just kind of there that I kind of just kept an eye on. After my experience with Eddie, I knew what I should do if I was having contractions and took it easy, drank a lot of water and went to the bathroom a lot. Around 5:00, the contractions really started to up in pain, length and intensity and I started to time them. When I realized that they were lasting about a minute and coming anywhere from 2-5 minutes apart, I knew it was time to call my doctor. The on call doctor was Dr. D, not my primary but the other doctor in the practice.  He sent me straight to labor and delivery, which was expected. I left, Frankie called his parents to come hang out with Eddie and came to the hospital. I got checked in, and the contractions were still coming long and strong.

Right away they did a fetal fibernectin (sp?) swab, which to put it simply, is a test to determine if you're going to give birth in the next 2 weeks. While doing the swab, they noticed that I was dilating and checked me to find that I was 1cm dilated....not good news at all. There was immediate talk of me going to Rockford because they have a high risk unit and an amazing NICU. First, it was determined that we would do everything at my normal hospital that we could do, and if they didn't stop I would head up there. At that time, I was confident that we would be able to stop them. After all, 2 shots of terbutaline with Eddie stopped my contractions and we didn't have to move onto more serious measures.  (Now I suppose is a good place to say that they have taken Terbutaline off the market). Frank got to the hospital, we realized we were in for the long haul and Eddie went over to my parent's house.

I was admitted around 7pm. I was given 20mg of Procardia and we crossed our fingers that the contractions would stop....after all, Procardia was the "new" terbutaline. They didn't stop, they got stronger and we really began to sense the urgency in the room. My nurses seemed nervous and Dr. D didn't seem happy that our first fix didn't work. Sometime around midnight it was decided that the Procardia wasn't working and I was moved up to the heavy stuff....Magnesium. I knew from other people that mag was bad - very bad - and tried to prepare myself for the hot flashes and the nausea that I had heard about. It was 100 times worse. My nurse mentioned that when she was on mag it made her eyes kinda funny, and after they pushed the first dose (I don't remember what it was, but know that the pushed something like 4 through right away and then slowed down to 2 pushing over an extended amount of time) my eyes were for sure funny (I couldn't focus and it felt better to just keep them closed) and I was positive that my lips had blisters on them because they were burning so bad. I had a little bit of nausea but nothing to bad.

Over time, though, the mag got really, really bad. It was hard to lift my arms and legs, and the worst of all, I couldn't open my eyes. I had a complete panic attack that I literally could not lift my eyelids and would up causing another huge commotion. After I calmed down and got used to my new technique of opening one eye a teeny tiny bit when talking to someone and keeping them closed the rest of the time, things got worse. The mag was working it's magic on every muscle in my body but where we wanted it to. While I was feeling horrible, the contractions just kept on. After a couple of calls to my doctor, he said that I was on the highest dose and we couldn't do anymore, we just had to hope that they stopped. I slept for a bit sometime around 4am and then again at 7am, about 1 hour or 30 minute stretches. I was hurting, exauhsted and scared out of my mind. The contractions weren't stopping and everyone who was caring for me seemed scared. Somewhere in Sunday morning Dr. D deferred to Rockford's neonatologist who added motrin to the mix and an antibiotic via IV. It didn't help.

When we first went in Dr. D said something that stuck with me - what we do now, if we can't stop them, gets us 2 days. 2 days before baby is born if we can't stop progression. I would be 31 weeks and 1 day, delivering a 4 pound baby. He was too small.

Sometime before 9am Dr. D walked into my room looking....tired? disappointed?...I'm not sure what. He told me that they we sending me to Rockford, there was nothing else that they could do for me there. All I thought was "no. he's too small. i can't deliver tomorrow. he's only 4 pounds. this can't be happening". I needed all the support and thoughts that I could get. I was scared out of my mind. The next person that walked into the room said that I had 14 minutes until the helicopter would arrive. 14 minutes to try and prepare myself for the thought that this was really happening. In my fear, I posted this on my facebook.....

"Early last night I went to labor and delivery. Unfortunately we are so far unable to stop my contractions and progression. In about 10 minutes I am being airlifted to rockford. Baby is almost 31 weeks old. It is a boy, his name is Finn. Please pray for us. I am terrified."

I just wanted support. In that moment, I wanted to know that as many people as possible were praying for me and Finn. And yes, we have known it was a boy all along, we just thought it would be fun to surprise everyone else :) HA! I wanted the most specific good thoughts and hopes and juju that I could get, so I tearily told the facebook universe that our little boy needed help. And off to the chopper I went.

The helicopter ladies were awesome. Always trying to keep the mood light (I had just used a bed pan in front of these people, I mean really...humor was the only way I knew to help THAT situation) I told Frank to make sure that he took a picture of Momma in the helicopter. Our phones were almost dead though and wouldn't take the pictures, so one of the chopper people pulled out her phone and started snapping away. I had to show Eddie my big moment :)

{i'm posting this here because above all, this blog is the best record our family has, and i don't want to lose this! first person to make fun of the way i look gets punched. oh, and that was as far as i could open my eyes. in fact, i was making a super concious effort to open them as much as possible. gross}

The only way I held it together on the chopper was by looking out the window and just trying to think that I was on a ride. A few tears slipped but I mostly held it together, knowing that the more stress I added to my already stressed body wouldn't help anything. I had to be calm. I couldn't deliver a 4 pound baby.

{my lovely view....thank you Chopper Meghan for taking pictures for me!}

And Rockford was apparently magic. Before we left, my contractions went to 8 minutes apart. On the chopper they were 10. When I first got hooked up they were 12 and by the time the doctor started to see me they were a whopping 15 minutes apart....the longest apart they had been in 2 days. Dr. B, the neonatologist came in and was quite underwhelming.

Basically he said.....You're not in active labor. You had a negative fetal fibernectin, you've delivered a full term baby (38 weeks), it is the same father and you have a (sorry TMI) long cervix. You will not be delivering a baby. I do not know why you are here.

And then he walked out.


And Frank and I were all - WHAT. THE. FUCK.


After we had some time to process, we called the nurse in for some clarification. From what they had seen, I was not concerning. The above 4 things that Dr. B listed off were their biggest markers of seriousness, and all 4 things were in my favor. And my contractions had slowed. To them, I was not "interesting". To a normal hospital and a normal OB, I was terrifying. To Rockford, I was small potatoes. And while that is incredibly reassuring, any normal person would also have the thought that Frank and I did. WE JUST PAID OUT THE ASS FOR A HELICOPTER TRANSFER FOR NO REASON. We were scared out of our minds to be told that I shouldn't be there. We were tired, confused and a little pissed.

{you DO NOT want to know what this lovely ride cost}

They took me off the Magnesium right when we got to Rockford and I thankfully felt normal pretty quickly. My brother and sister in law surprised us at the hospital sometime Sunday afternoon, but to be honest I don't totally remember. I was still kinda drugged and sound asleep when they arrived, but I know they came, made us laugh and left with lots of hugs. I was thankful for the friendly faces in what seemed like an incredibly unfriendly place. I passed out sometime around 7:30pm and slept until 5:30am, when I rolled over on the montior that I had apparently taken off in the night. The last time I remember it being there was sometime around 3:30am. I told Frank that it basically showed how much they were really watching me -  2 hours without any monitors on and no one noticed.

So, whatever. I woke up, brushed my teeth and such and got back in bed. And the contractions started, strong, right away. And they weren't letting up. Nurses changed and my nurse from the night before that I loved was back. She was on the contractions right away and I knew that I was back to being on shaky ground. After watching me for a bit, Dr. B decided that the contractions weren't letting up and they gave me 10mg of procardia. I went for an ultrasound (3D! 4D!!! IT WAS AMAZING!) and came back with more contractions.  Another 10mg of procardia and a visit from my Eddie man and Nanna and the contractions had slowed and were letting up in intesity. Dr. B was in a meeting, and I knew that when he got out we would find out just how long we were in for. My nurse prepped me for at least one more night because of my active morning

{looking normal again! eddie's visit was fun, here he is trying to pick frank's nose....}

{so then we all pick noses. because we're normal and not weird at all}

Dr. B was as charming as ever. You have a negative fetal fibernectin...you have this that and the other. Yes I was contracting, but I HAD A NEGATIVE FETAL FIBERNECTIN. Which in Dr. B's world, seemed like the be-all-end-all. I was simply a blip on his radar, and I suppose he thought that since we had slowed the contractions, my blip should be gone. The man was probably the least loveable person in that hospital (seriously, the food service and cleaning people were sweeter than him) but honest to God, the moment he said I was going home I could have kissed him. He had zero smiles from me the whole time but man, did I give him my biggest and best smile. I'm sure the man is amazing and is very, very good at his job. I'm sure his strong as hell, no bullshit attitude is comforting when you are a serious high risk patient. I'm sure most people love him. I am thrilled as hell not to be under his care anymore.

So we're home. I'm taking procardia every 6 hours and am on bedrest, but am allowed to walk around the house a bit. So far we plan to spend most of the week at my mom's since I'm not really supposed to be as active as Eddie needs me to be and the weekends at home with Frankie. It will be a huge and probably not so fun at times transition. But being home and going from house to house is better than bedrest at the hospital, or the scariest of all, delivering a 31 week old baby.

Right now we're counting our blessings, swooning over our amazing ultrasound pictures of Finn, chugging water and visiting the potty often. Right now we're thankful for the prayers, thoughts, good wishes and positive juju sent to us in the last couple of days. Right now we're trying to laugh about helicopter rides and the way Dr. B said fetal fibernectin. Right now we're thankful for 2 sets of amazing parents who we're really going to lean on in the next couple of weeks. Right now, we're happy to be showered and at home safe.

Cha-cha-cha-changes

I figured it was time for an update on the bloggy.....I was never crazy about the last blue one, but dealt with it because I was too lazy to change it. I'm super duper happy with this one, mainly because I love the picture of Eddie on the header. It is currently the background on my phone and I dream of having it put onto a canvas to hang in our house. I just can't get enough of it :)

Hope you like it as much as I do!

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to the guy we love to pick on the most....

Love you Frankie!!!

Father's Day

or as Eddie says 'Happy Fadur's Day!'

and oh, how many times Frank has been told that today. Eddie and his Daddy are two peas in a pod, best friends to the core. They have grown so close in the last few weeks....they wrestle, play hockey and basketball and golf and tennis and baseball and just about any other sport under the sun. When they play, they play hard and rough with tackles and laughter that radiates throughout our house. The smiles are bigger, the giggles get louder, and sometimes, the cries for Momma when Eddie gets a boo-boo is the only thing that breaks up the rucus.

These days, as I'm getting bigger and more uncomfortable, as I'm hot and tired and want nothing to do with sitting on the floor playing trains or legos or cars or whatever our love of the day is, these are the days that Frankie really shines. Most days he comes home after a long day of work and plays until he and Eddie pass out together in Eddie's new big boy bed. Some days he starts playing before he even changes, happily grabbing a hockey stick in a suit and tie. On special days we have lunch with Daddy and on even better ones he comes home for lunch and kisses. On even more special days, candles are lit and I get a foot rub for my ache and swollen toes. Every day I am awed by this man, his love for his son and his ability to just jump up when Eddie's ready to play. And while I simply cannot wait to have that energy back, I also can't wait to see what comes with my change of energy.....the inevitable slow down that will come to Frank, this transition that we're going to go through soon, one that will have him grabbing a baby in his suit and tie instead of a hockey stick, one that will add newborn kisses to our lunchtime breaks, one that will mean passing out in Eddie's big boy bed not just to cuddle, but to get a little extra rest.

Because I know, above all, that Frank is my rock. He is Eddie's rock, and while our world will soon be turned upside down, we can still count on him no matter what to wrestle, be whatever sports hero we're in love with that day, and maybe, on super special days, sneak in a foot rub.


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And, of course, a super huge Happy Father's Day to my dad, too! Every day I see things in Frank and know that I married a man just like my Dad. Sometimes it shouts at me in funny times, times that Frank makes a joke that only my dad would make. And sometimes its small whispers in the way he is with Eddie. Sometimes it is just a feeling that I know that I've got a good one, just like the guy I came from.

Other days, I see my dad in myself than I do in the man I married. The small jokes that would only make me or him laugh, the things I say to Eddie or my Mom or to Frank. The fact that I am constantly wanting to pick on Eddie just that extra little bit.....the same way that my dad will - literally - poke me with a stick one to many times just to piss me off. Because ya know what? It's funny. And I only get that now that I do it to Eddie too. Heh. Does that make us horrible people? I swear we're not! We just have an odd sense of humor. And big, huge laughs. I have his nose, his teeth, his toes that can pick up stuff and his love of chatting. He has my love. I hope it's enough to show him just how much he means to me.

A shot in the tush

I just realized that I haven't posted about our last doctor's appointment! It was almost 2 weeks ago....oops!

Weeks: 27w3d


Measuring: 30 weeks. HA! Still measuring huge. BUT we had an ultrasound this week to cover a couple things. First, that there weren't twins. And yes, I kept that mostly quiet for a month, only sharing our news with friends and family. Could you imagine if it came out that I was having twins at 28 weeks? Frank said he would faint. I'm relieved to report that there aren't twins, but I am carrying a ton of extra fluid. As in, double what I should.....and no, that's not a guess, I am literally carrying exactly double the fluid. And now the joke is that when my water breaks it is going to be like Niagra Falls. Thankfully, other than that, baby looks happy and healthy, and at that ultrasound was measuring to be about 3lbs already. Aaawwww :)

{not the greatest picture of a picture (from my cell phone none the less) but it'll do. The top picture is my favorite...baby is turned a little more towards you, and you can see both eyes, a little hand by it's mouth (eddie's was always up there in u/s too) and some body. The bottom one is pretty much a perfect profile...right where is says "face" you can see the tip of the nose, and little lips pushed out to a pout}

Heartbeat: Ultrasound said 150 something, Dr. D with doppler said 140's....I think.
Weight: +10lbs. TEN FREAKING POUNDS. Holy eff. I really wasn't expecting that. Dr. D isn't concerned (yet) about my weight gain, mainly because I've only gained about 17lbs total (thank you first trimester weight loss) but did say that if I did a 10lb weight gain at my next appointment he would be concerned. Mainly because my big gain plus the extra fluid is a good indicator of gestational diabetes, even though my GD test came back normal. We did do my GD test early because I had a little incident that was a good indicator that I had it, and were all stumped when it came back normal. So I could have some underlying issue that just didn't show itself at that time. If I do have another big gain, I'll have to do another test. In the meantime, I'm supposed to be watching the sugars and the carbs (which, to be honest, isn't really happening) and working out more. After my swim in the beginning of the month last month, I didn't swim again....because I'm a bum. So now I've gotten back into my swimming routine and am happily going 3 times a week and feeling GREAT. I do feel like my belly hasn't gotten any bigger, and maybe even a little smaller, so that's good...hopefully baby and I are slowly working through our fluid issues!

Feeling: Big (thank you fluid) and mostly uncomfortable. Now, keep in mind that I am writing this as I felt 2 weeks ago, and I felt like crapola 2 weeks ago. With my regular work outs I am feeling so, so much better. 

Craving: anything, really. Talk about any kind of food and I want it. Last night I made Frank go on a special run for a spicy burrito :) nomnomnom
Next appointment: Next Wednesday. Heh....I told you this post was late! Fingers crossed for a normal weight gain!
Eddie thinks: Eddie got to come with for this appointment since we thought he'd like to see the ultrasound. Plus, he was such a rockstar at my last appointment that I figured it'd be no big deal since Frankie would be there too. Little did I know that Frankie was just going to help rev him up rather than calm him down, and Eddie got a little more than nutty. Needless to say, he won't be coming to anymore appointments if I can help it. And while he was interested in about 2 seconds worth of ultrasound, he was more in love with the fact that I got a shot in my tush. Lovely.

Fly In Breakfast

One of the joys of our little tiny town is how close we live to the Dekalb airport....we love to watch the little planes fly in and out all day. Last year I heard about a fly-in breakfast fundraiser right at the same time that it ended so this year I learned my lesson and have been waiting and watching for this year's breakfast to come up!

Eddie was super exicted to go, and even Nanna, Bapa, Uncle Mac and Aunt Amy came with! We had so much fun wandering and looking at all the different planes. Eddie mostly wandered with Bapa, who showed him lots of cool stuff :)

{the best picture i could get of eddie and his breakfast....he really wasn't feeling my camera in his face}

{frankie wondering just how comfortable the two guys smooshed in the tiny plane could be}

{my favorite plane....the teeny little rainbow one!}

{bapa and eddie checking out the cool firetruck}

{the firemen saw us around there truck and let eddie sit in it....with the very strong promise that he wouldn't touch ANY buttons....apparently this one is too easy to start up!}

{best picture....eddie in the big firetruck wheel!}

Eddie GaGa

Eddie has always been pretty interested in my makeup......after finding him using my blush with a bit of a heavy hand, I jokingly told him that he needed to use less and blend more. Leave it to Eddie, the next time I found him with my makeup bag and asked what he was doing, he happily said "blending!"....LOL, his daddy is so proud.

So when I heard him jumbling in my makeup bag the other day I didn't really think anything of it, since he normally goes for the blush or the eye liner (which he uses to draw 'stamps' on his hands....my fault again, since I'll draw something on his hands with the eyeliner when he sees me using it). But this day, he decided to step up him game......

{mascara. apparently not just for eyelashes}

{it's hard to tell, but he did actually get some on his eyelashes (his right) and it was so freaking hard to get off....and he chose the non-waterproof one, too!}

After being a). shocked silent and b). running to get the camera, I tried my best to become serious mommy and ask what he was doing. His answer? "I makin' Eddie handsome!"

Oh my. Handsome indeed!!

Pinstripes part 2

Oh, Pinstripes Mom and Tot bowling, I love you. I'm addicted after going with cousin Michelle and the girls, so one day when the weather was just 'eh', we decided to go bowling! Best $5 ever spent....seriously, five bucks, 2 hours of Eddie fun....I'm down to bowl anytime :)

{the day started with Eddie flat out refusing to leave the house without his tie "like daddy". so I told him to go and pick one....lo and behold, he picked one that matched his shirt!}

{one of the few times he actually watched the ball....most of the time he just pushes it down and runs to get the next ball....}

{but he does line it up just like this every time. I think he thinks the handle whole for the ramp is a super secret telescope-esque thing. silly man}

{BEST BOWLING PICTURE EVER}

{hey! look! it's nanna!! wait a minute....nanna was, ahem, sick that day!}

{ps, check out eddie's too-cool-for-school stance against the table.}

{our silly celebration}

{nom-ing eddie's tickle spot...his collarbone :) nothing makes him laugh harder!}

{my parents always laugh that I have loved lemons since I was very little, and people used to freak out that I would really eat a lemon. Eddie loooooves lemons too and I love that he got it from me!}