{eddie, riding piggy back while I clean}
No joke, the second I walk out of the room, even to pee or get a glass of water, he screams bloody murder. Thank God for the ring sling. Now, I have no idea what is going on, but I'm starting to lose my mind. His newest thing is to climb up me while I sit on the floor and bounce up and down while crying until I pick him up...it doesn't matter that he is a half inch off of the floor, all that matters is that I'm holding him. Now, I love my son. I love the cuddles. But I need some space, buddy! We have started to let him CIO (cry it out) when he wakes up at 3:00am. This wake up trend started when he was sick and just never stopped. When he was sick, I took the opportunity to get some solids into him and fed him. When he got better, I just brought him into bed with me. Since we used to co-sleep the whole night, it was nice to have a couple hours of snuggle time, but as Eddie gets older I don't really want to make this a long-term habit. We seem to have hit a snag, though. The start of CIO seems to correspond with the start of the anxiety with me walking out of the room. A coincidence? Sure....but a large part of me is now thinking that CIO has led to Eddie being terrified of me leaving him at any time. I almost feel like he just doesn't trust me - before he knew that I would always come....now, he is scared that I'll leave him crying, and that breaks my heart. To think that something that was supposed to help him has ended up hurting our relationship of trust and comfort...it hurts more than I can say. Tonight we're going back to our normal routine - if he cries anytime past 3:00am, he'll be in bed with me, trying to fix our little trust issue. All I can hope is that it can be fixed.
In other news, I started giving Eddie an all-natural applesauce instead of my fresh purees. To be honest, I was lazy and didn't make his apples this week. The good news is that he loved them! The taste is a bit more tangy than my homemade ones, so I wasn't sure that the would like it, but he scarfed it right down. The pictures should really speak for themselves....
And yes, I even let him lick the cup :)
We also went to see the Easter Bunny today after yoga, and Eddie did so well! I thought he would freak, given the attachment issues but he was great and even gave me a huge smile! I was so pleased. We just got the print out (why have these people not just put them all on a website yet?!?!) so I had to get creative with a picture of a picture...
Obviously, I am posting this at night....and I took the pictures at night....so I played around quite a bit with the coloring, so while it doesn't look natural I think it is kind of fun. You should be able to click on the picture to make it bigger so you can see Eddie in all of his big-smiled cuteness.
Can you believe it is only Tuesday? Wow...I'm really going to try to post as much as I can, since this really seems to be a nice outlet for me - most of the time I type one handed, since Mr. Glue naps on me as well.
Wish us luck on our CIO system re-start!
-maggie
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