y3w

{Side note: LOVE that Blogger has a new 'xtra large' option for photos. I clicked it, then decided that you didn't need to see my mom's crazy eyes that huge. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! Sorry mom.}

This picture highlights EXACTLY why Eddie loves Nanna and Grandpa so. Nanna's crazy eyes make Eddie laugh like to other and Grandpa is just the right mix of fun and calm. It has been a week since he last stayed with N&G and he still wakes up and calls for Nanna. NAAAAANNNNAAAA!!!! NANA! NAAAAANAAAA!!! I think it is safe to say he is hoping that Nanna is going to run up the stairs with some new toys, tons of food and spoil him rotten like he's used to. And let's face it...if someone out there would spoil me rotten every time I saw them with presents and treats, well, I'd call for them too. This picture is from one of our hang out days, when we decided to stop at a park and let Eddie play out some extra energy. Eddie loved the slide, the rocking horse thing and the SAND. Glorious, glorious sand!!

Eddie's all..."Sorry mom, I know you want me to play and run and stop touching the sand, but OMG!!! Have you seen this stuff? Watch! I grab a handful and it gone! Wow!! Did you see? Want me to do it again? Oh, you're saying no. I'll just ignore you, because the sand is calling me! I love you sand! Let me pick you up....damn! You're gone again! Sneeky bastard."

Except he wouldn't say bastard, because I listened VERY CAREFULLY to the pedi's lecture about not cursing. Damn straight!

-maggie

Cortland....trying not to suck!

As most of our family knows, we moved into a small town that was taken over by big builders....most of whom have now declared bankruptcy after struggling to stay afloat. All of the failing neighborhoods have obviously taken their toll on our town, one that had big dream dependant on the builders that were coming in. Those dreams will probably never come true now. I will hand it to our town, they are trying to make the best out of a bad situation and while I think most of the residents here roll their eyes at a lot of what this town does, I know they're trying, so I support the efforts. I have no idea how long the Cortland Fesival has been going on, but they did try to expand on it this year, which gets them a big thumbs up from me! This year, we had a band/dinner night the day before the parade, with a beer garden and some subpar food. It was geared towards the younger, newlywed/starting family crowd and they meant well. It was a little overpriced, the food was not worth it, but they tried, and thats what I care about. They gave it a shot, hopefully learned some lessons and will try again next year. The next day was the parade and carnival, which is always small town and cute. They added a lot of new rides and games for kids, had the fire truck open for kids to go in and the Flight for Life helicopter there to go through as well. Pretty good, Cortland, pretty good. I can honestly say that I love this silly little festival and will support it all of the years that we will live here. Which hopefully won't be much longer, but I'm lying to myself if I think we're selling anytime soon.

{my boys, waiting for the parade to start!}

{driving the fire truck - the fireman was impressd with his wheel skills!}

{trying to honk the horn, which was really on the floor...}

Little man is totally into fire trucks, let me tell you. He threw quite the fit when it was time to get out and kept running back to it. He will also imitate a siren, which is cute and kinda wants to make you rip your ears off all at the same time. Is there a fireman in our future? I'm worrying already.

-maggie

Gossip

A real text conversation..

(630): Do _____ and _____ have a kid? Just walked by and there is a one year old running around in there.

(224) me: No, someone moved in with them that has a kid. PS - stalker!

(630): Dude, they have no patio blinds. Someone moved in with them??

(224): Yeah, ______ stalked them to figure out what was going on when we saw someone moving kid stuff in. Bwaahaha, we're a bunch of crazies around here.

(630): Thought I was the stalker.

(224):  Meh, _____ stalked to get answers. You stalked just to see in their house, which is worse. Stalker.


Love my neighbors so, so much. Because deep down, we're all a bunch of nosey, nosey people.

Birthday Girl

Sometimes you have a friend that you have gone through so much with, you can't imagine your life without them. Sometimes, the friend that you make in 6th grade will stick with you through the awkward hair phases, the boys, the girl fights and the general growing up drama. Sometimes, this friend becomes your PERSON, the one that you run to before all others, the one you can tell everything to and the one that you know, without a doubt, will not judge you no matter what you say, do or wear. Want to meet my person?

{this person also doesn't kill you when you post bad pictures of them on your blog}

Internet, meet Stefanie. My person. Monday was Stefanie's birthday, one which we celebrated the day before with a girls dinner at the fan-freaking-tastic Uncle Julio's. And because I love her so much, the 3 hour dinner wasn't enough, I had to call her on the way home to talk more. Oh, and just so she doesn't kill me....

{a much better picture!}

Stefanie loves Eddie, is known around our house as Auntie Stef and also as Eddie's second God Mother. She is one of my most favorite people in the world and I wanted all of you to know about it. And even though this birthday was different from others....one very important person missing the celebration, I hope she knows how much we all love her and are here for her no matter what.

Love you Stefie!!!

Same old Scarecrows....

When Frank and I moved to St. Charles, my mom and I were all about the festivals. St. Charles throws a huge Scarecrow Festival every year, and we have gone every year for the past....3, maybe 4? The first year was fun, the next year was fun, too. We explored a bit more than the year before. Last year was kinda meh, but the weather was awesome, Eddie was little and adorable and we sent a ton of time just wandering, mostly because of the beautiful weather. This year, well...not so much. The craft show has the same vendors with the same stuff. The weather was cold, it was muddy and we just weren't impressed. I'm sure a lot of it had to do with the weather, that it was so cold and windy and we couldn't really wander....meh. Hopefully next year we will have fun, with Eddie being old enough to ride some of the really little guy stuff and participate with the crafts and what not.

{at least he looked cute! ha}

{meeting Elmo...about .3 seconds before Eddie started to freak}

{cute}

{nanna love}

{mom and i about to kick the giant hill's ass. We actually passed the people up ahead, which made us feel pretty good. Until we couldn't breathe at the top}

{balloon love!!!}

{lets face it....the balloon alone was worth the trip!}

As you can see, Eddie found a new love for balloons...he carried this around for days until I finally tossed it because it was pretty dead. Don't worry, I got him a new mylar one from the grocery store, which should hold us over for a while!

-maggie

Date night

As a last minute thing, Frankie and I decided to go to the Kathy Griffin show in Chicago on Friday night. Eddie was comfortable hanging out with Nanna and Granpa, being spoiled rotten and stuffed with lots of yummy dinner. It was fun times all around, but I have to admit that I had a much harder time leaving Eddie than normal....I just missed him so much towards the end of the night and the next morning, and I couldn't even run to pick him up right away since we were meeting up at the St. Charles Scarecrow Fest that Saturday. He got tons of mommy kisses and hugs when I finally got to him! Anywho...the KG show was awesome, she was super funny and even Frank got to laughing quite a bit.

{bumpy cab ride = bad pictues}

{sold out!}

{love her!}

{lol  - we got these when we sat down, Frank wasn't so sure about being one of the few straight men...}

Frank and I had a good time...I was very proud of my normally not impulsive husband for doing something rather impulsive like getting some last minute tickets for a date downtown. Good job hun! Oh, and he didn't even fall asleep during the show, altho he admitted that he was close....hehe. As always, a huge thanks to my mom and dad for keeping the bug. He had sooo much fun. Proof?

{how many grandparents have a tunnel playhouse in their living room just for their grandson? Lucky boy!}

-maggie

The Fever

My God, I can't believe I am about to post this. Really, I think I may write it and just keep it for myself…but I may become brave and post it, because well…why the eff not. I know I've posted about not wanting to be asked about another baby, how we're not ready and how we're probably going to wait until Eddie is somewhere around two, if we're going to have another one at all. But I have to say it…I just have to get it off of my chest because OH MY GOD I think I'm suffocating from the weight of this.

I want another baby.

I want to be pregnant; I want to feel the kicks, the hiccups. I want that moment when you feel like you are so connected to your body…..when you are so amazed by what you are capable of that you practically burst with joy and radiate light and happiness. I want random people to smile at me….a knowing in their eyes that I am doing something special. I have these thoughts, these beautiful, amazing thoughts that make my body ache…I mean really and truly when I think about being pregnant my body feels…something. And I am slowly and surely convincing myself that yes, yes, I could do it again and I want to do it again and then….my brain kicks in.

How? How would we do it? We have a two bedroom house with a loft. How would I get anything done? How would I give Eddie the attention and the love that he deserves when I'm in the newborn haze? We would have to change our lifestyle…no more dinners out (how would we even do that with two?), no more silly purchases or trips or date nights for Frank and I. We have fallen into such a rhythm with Eddie. And honestly, I like our rhythm. Not to mention that Frank and I have finally gotten back into our rhythm as a couple, one in which conversation isn't forced or boring and a rhythm in which we are finally comfortable to go out again…to enjoy our adult friends or just enjoy each other. It took a year for us to get back to this spot and I am scared at the prospect that it could take that long next time, or worse, longer. I feel like in many ways, wanting another baby is selfish. I think back to the day that I was able to hold a little baby of Frankie's cousin, and Eddie was so mad. He wouldn't give me a kiss or hug, and pushed me away when I tried. He didn't want to share…..why should I force him to? Is it fair? And then the many moms of two that I know will say YOU JUST DO. The second baby will cry a little more than the first, the first will learn to be gentle and you will suddenly be able to fit two little hearts into your own. And it will work. And even as I type this, I am literally getting caught up in my words and feeling that tingle in my stomach and the urge to…well, procreate, and I think it is possible. Then 'NO! NO! It can't be done! You can't do it!' And I honestly don't know how I would deal with that little voice when I was also dealing with those pregnancy hormones that make that little voice scream louder than you could imagine. (*This post was written before yesterday's locking out. Let's add that to the list of yet another reason of why I could NOT handle two babies.)

Does it help that my friend from college just had a baby yesterday, the same day as my cousin in Wisconsin? Nope! It also doesn't help that my cousin in Florida and my cousin in law are both due in January, or that my neighbor is due in a couple weeks, and my other neighbor is due in December. I feel surrounded by these pregnant bellies that make me so freaking jealous. I actually told Frank the other day that our neighbor's belly is going to make my ovaries burst with envy. We actually had an interesting little conversation, Shauna and I….I told her that I wanted the belly and she said that she just wanted what I have…and outside baby. I mentioned how much I loved to be pregnant, how great it was and how awesome I felt and Frank laughed. He asked if I remembered complaining about this and that or how much I hated it towards the end…and I don't. People say that you eventually forget the labor and birth experience, but I think that is a lie. Well….I know that is a lie, because I haven't forgotten. If anything, I've forgotten the last trimester, when I was stuck to the couch and terrified of every cramp and contraction. When I had to carry around pills, had to go to twice a week doctors appointments and more. I remember, but it just seems….worth it. Worth it all. And now there is the voice, talking me down. So, what happens? Does the voice just die down after a while? Does the urge get stronger? Because the limbo I'm in now is so effing frustrating.


Whew. This post is tiring. I'm sure the conversations it will bring will be tiring. But, at least it is out there, floating around the universe and waiting to be snatched up by somewhat that can answer my questions. Right now, I think the right idea is to wait for that other little voice to go away…..right? (ps….just when you think I'm boring, you release my writer's block. Thanks, dad!)