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I've thought of ways to write this post, and while most of it is composed in my head, I'm having trouble writing it. I don't know how to start....and I definitely can't do it without crying (I already am).

My beautiful cousin, Margie, passed away a couple weeks ago. 13 days after being diagnosed with cancer. Those days were whirlwind, one of pain that I don't ever want to experience again, for it is a horrible thing to know that everyone in your family is hurting the same way, most more, than you at the same time. 

Margie was a huge supporter of me and this blog. Emails from Margie were fairly frequent to me...they would come after posts with great pictures of Eddie (she loved photography) with her saying how beautiful they were, how handsome Eddie was. My favorite one came after our earthquake in 2010 making sure that we were ok...it still makes me laugh. A little over a year ago, when I was going through my preterm labor with Finn, the emails made me smile. They were short, a couple sentences at best (all usually were) making sure I was ok, telling me that she was thinking of me, praying for me. For us. I continued to think of one in those thirteen days, one sentence that she wrote that brought me comfort. 

"Here's a quote from an awesome, interesting and wonderfully written blog (that I read sometimes)     KEEP CALM and CARRY ON..."

Tears are streaming down my face, and I've had to stop more times than I'd like to admit to breathe deep. But I'm keeping calm (the best I can) and I am going to carry on, and above all, take pictures. Because that's what Margie would want. She said so herself. 

I'm going to miss the emails, the incredibly unique things that only Margie would find for the boys. I'm going to miss the random packages in the mail containing photoshopped pictures. I'm going to miss her so, so much. And I know I'm not the only one.