Death of a Tree

Our Christmas tree, that is.

In the past couple of days we have been noticing the tree dropping a lot of needles. It was a little concerning, but we figured that the tree was a) watered and b) a different kind than we normally get, so we thought it was normal for this particular tree. But then it got really bad - as in we could just touch it and it would rain down needles. When I decided to vacuum up the needles this afternoon, I realized just how bad things were. Once I got them cleaned up I planned to tell Hubby that we were going to have to get rid of the tree later that night.

THEN, the vacuum fell into the tree and the damn thing poured out needles for a good minute. In my frustration, I began pulling ornaments off of the tree. Each ornanment I pulled off also pulled of an entire branch's needles. WONDERFUL. You can only imagine what happened once I pulled off the lights.

{clean up #1}

{ w.t.f }

{seriously. fully watered, I promise}

{clean up #2}

After I cleaned up the needles the second time, I decided that I had to have this tree out of my house right away. The logical step? Pull it out of the sliding glass door, of course!! I put Eddie in his highchair with some snacks, pulled on my boots and began my mission.

Then the damn thing got stuck. I was outside- without a jacket, my baby was inside and there was a 9 foot tall Christmas tree stuck in my way. One by one, I pulled out the branches while I watched needles spray around me. Curious as to what the end product looked like? Of course you are!

{this, my friends, is a big f-ing mess. water everywhere, needles everywhere. Lots of towels to get the water up and of course, almost an hour of vacuuming}

{the dogs now love peeing on the tree in the yard. damn thing deserves to be pee'd on!}

So there you have it. We had that tree for a little over a week and it is crap. Like I said earlier, the base was full of water and it was freshly cut so there were no worries about it being old. I honestly have no idea what was wrong with it, but I can assure you that I will never, ever, ever have a live tree in my home again. This tree has ruined me.

Next year, instead of cutting the bailing off of our fresh tree and arranging it in the base, I will be bending and arranging wire branches. Instead of watering the tree daily, I will light my pine scented Yankee Candle and delight in the fake Christmas tree smell.

At least I won't have to waste my day taking down a tree a week after we get it.

BA-HUMBUG.