Monday, November 16, 2009

From the hospital....

well hello there! i'm coming at you from the glorious kish hospital, waiting to have my appendix removed. obviously, my cat scan showed that i have appendicitis and i was rushed here right away. well, not before i was thrown into a surgeon's office, who, when he walked in the room shook my hand and immediately told me that he would be taking my appendix in a matter of hours. what an introduction! he proceeded to tell me about the surgery - anywhere from 12 minutes to an hour - i will have a cathader (tmi! hahaha) - i will also be intibated - and i will be totally out. Full recovery will be 2 weeks, but he said I can lift Eddie when I get home, with care. He understood that I'm a mom and basically said that not lifting wasn't an option. I liked him immediately. From what we gather from the nurses, he is a.) a great doc and b.) he hangs around with the doctors from my OB, which means major points in my book.

did i mention that frank is here? yup...he's snoring away in the chair next to me. must be nice....

i am totally and completely freaking the fuck out. being intibated scares the crap out of me, even though i know i will be totally under. i would love to give  eddie a kiss before i go into surgery, but i can't. i'm scared. my mom is with eddie and he is peacefully napping away, no idea what is going on. he is just happy that his nanna is there to play.

i wish i was there to play. so far, i've put on a brave face, cracked jokes and kept a smile on, but i'm starting to waver. i wish i wasn't totally asleep. i wish i could kiss my son. i wish this wasn't happening. fear is over taking my smile and that scares me.

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